two things I am remembering
first
that I liked the bus b/c it was a bookend and I could ride it and be in
it b/c there was no escaping it and you had to be close and you could
feel like you were in a basket with all of the people that were
laughing and you could hear them talking and flicking people off and
you could see the shape of delight, the way laughter is like a system
of things and it wasn't what someone said but where and how many people were along for the ride
second
was the struggles with history tests and how hard they were to me b/c I
knew I knew things and I still was so solidly a b kid b/c i wasn't one
to judge what I was knowing and what to remember so I knew things no
one ever asked and the other things that I did not know or did not
remember were asked of me I didn't have them and I stared at the tests
and the blanks on the tests and I thought about how things like this
aren't real that it is not selective like this and that I was much
better about knowing things as a kind of streaming which is why I guess
I am better at lit
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